When I was in college, a student asked our writing professor, “When will I know I’m ready for an agent?” The professor responded, “You have to be ‘zen’ about it… when you’re ready for it, an agent will appear.”
A couple weeks ago, my former boss, the guy who gave me my first job in this industry – asked me to lunch.
After chatting a bit, he offered to team up on a project and, in a sense, I felt like my ‘Zen’ had arrived – finally, after years of chasing, asking, begging for help, here was someone approaching ME. What’s better, this is a consummate professional with several TV credits and tons of filmmaking experience. Clearly, I was thrilled.
At some point during lunch, he asked me WHY I’m doing this, or, more specifically, what I hope to GET out of this…
It’s strange because in a weird way, I hadn’t really thought about it – what DO I really want? And WHY do I want it?
I answered, awkwardly, that at some point, I wanted to be rich and famous, but now, I’m settled and older and, really, just want to know I can do it. Basically, to prove myself… to myself… But that’s a little disingenuous. It’s hard to admit, out loud, that I want to be rich. Or, have lots of money, which, in fact, I DO want. And I want to do it by creating art. Something GOOD. Something people like and WANT.
But if that’s a GOAL, it’s a guarantee fail. You can’t just want to be rich. You CAN. But it seems empty, even if you achieve it, without CREATING something of value.
Anyway, I’d been ready to dump the teacher idea I’d written about in the previous entries, but didn’t know what to do instead.
But after the meeting, I was re-invigorated and started revisiting old pitches and ideas.
And then it hit me… THE thing. The ABSOLUTE idea that is EXACTLY what I want to do an make.
So I sent a quick email with the pitch and my old boss said he liked it – I got pumped and a couple days later, sent him an email outlining a storyline… that was 3 weeks ago and I haven’t heard back.
At first it was kind of upsetting – maybe depressing is more to the point – of course radio silence could stem from hundreds of things… he’s a very busy guy. He’s got a successful career, a family, and a life…
Also, my new idea is big. Very big and when I really consider the undertaking, I KNOW I can’t do it alone… but that doesn’t mean I can’t start it alone.
So I’ve started doing just that. I’ve begun a couple of test shoots/composites – have pitched the idea to filmmaker friends who are interested in assisting – begun contacting actors… and am planning a first official shoot next month (March 2016) – –
That’s all I want to say about it right now – – but here’s a couple of GIFs that give a couple hints to what I’m planning – – –